Blog and Other Stuff
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS - becoming your own unique self
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7th January 2025
A wise person once shared their new year's resolution tradition with me. It didn’t involve a long list of things to do or not to do, instead the beauty of it was its simplicity, they chose a word or a statement which they were going to spend the year ahead trying to live by.
After spending many, many years building goals and setting guidelines “give up this, must do that” the thought of just having one thing to focus on seemed sublime. But of course, it made perfect sense because we as humans don’t aspire to have $x in the bank, or to be x kgs, or to swim to x and back. We actually aspire to how those achievements make us feel - secure, light, strong, joyful.
So often we are taught to approach things we want to achieve by the tangible result but if the very thing we seek doesn’t align with how we want to feel, if it doesn’t align with our values, it doesn’t alight with our beliefs then no amount hard work will get us there and keep us there. Sorry but it just isn’t possible. Believe me I know.
So, this year, the year of 2025, I am going to share with you what I am going to focus on for the year. This year I am going to step outside of my comfort zone daily, my word is “courage”. I don’t mean jumping out of planes or swimming with sharks (I am not sure my adrenals could cope). Instead stepping outside of my comfort zone is being vulnerable, but it is also trusting myself and trusting the innate knowing within that I am on the right path for me.
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A significant part of that path is helping others, more specifically, helping others to help themselves. Empowering people. Taking them from a place of self-doubt and fear to a place of awareness and self-actualisation. Writing that statement alone takes me outside of my comfort zone because most people don’t actually see that they sit in a place of self-doubt, let alone fear but if I were to ask you “what is it you want for you?”, “how do you want to feel?”, “what do you do for you?” , “what brings you joy?” would you be able to answer those questions easily? Without consideration of anyone else’s expectations? These are the questions I ask my clients and most struggle. Why? Because most have never been asked those questions, let alone given themselves permission to ask them of themselves for fear of upsetting someone, or worse still discovering that what they want is nothing like what they are living.
But before we go too far down that rabbit hole. I must make it clear that this is not about abandoning ship, packing up and leaving and looking for greener pastures. It is in fact the start of a process where you look within to rediscover your authenticity because it is knowing and loving who we are at our core that we can genuinely do the same with others.
This year of getting out of my comfort zone I do for everyone because everyone deserves to know themselves and be their authentic self but who I am most familiar with, because I am one, are the people who live rurally. We come from stoic, tough stock. We get on with things, we are resilient, we are caring, we can always find someone doing it tougher than us…. but that is also our downfall.
Heartbreaking, mental health statistics are diabolical in rural areas, suicide is higher, professional input is limited, the old networks of support are either no longer there or are on their last legs, think sporting clubs and community groups like the CWA. As rural communities get smaller and smaller, there is less and less connection with others and we need that as part of being human, we need connection to others, to help others and to be helped. But when we seek help, we need someone who understands how it is, who is relatable, someone who gets it. Who understands the stresses of farming, the dynamics of farming families, the challenges of living a long way from schooling, support, good quality services, the idiosyncrasies of small communities and personalities.
Having worked in the Agribusiness sector for over 17 years and being from farming stock, I have observed how much effort, time and money gets put into the support networks of farming businesses – consultants, agronomists, grain marketers, accountants, brokers, livestock agents. If you have serious skin in the game of farming (horticulture and livestock fit into this as well) you wouldn’t dream of not having some, if not all, of these playing some role in your business. Why? To ensure you get the best out of your business.
Yet when it comes to the most important assets of any farming operation, the people, we have very, very, very little in place. Again, my observation has been that we often wait till something is broken before it is fixed. We try and address major haemorrhaging with band aids, its like trying to fix a joiner in the poly pipe without turning the tap off first, it is a really hard thing to do and ultimately, will come undone again, very quickly. We wouldn’t dream of not doing maintenance on our seeding and spraying equipment before we put a crop in, we wouldn’t dream of putting in a crop or pasture if the pH was 4. We would ensure the conditions were more conducive to growing a crop. Yet so many of us just keep going till we can’t and then hope that a pill might fix us so we can keep on going. Why? Why don’t we value ourselves enough? Why do we let ourselves get so unwell – physically and mentally? Why do we just patch ourselves up?
Here is my next getting out of my comfort zone. I do not like the term “mental health”. Why? Well apart from the continued bias and stigma that it carries with it; it isn’t the whole picture. When we are struggling in our headspace whether it is anxiety, depression, moods, self-sabotage, negative self-talk, lack of motivation etc. our “mental” aspect is only part of it. Our overall health has a huge baring on our head space. Fun fact, depending on what you read, 75-90% of serotonin is made in our gut. Serotonin helps regulate our mood and is one of many neurotransmitters that makes us function in the big wide world. When levels are low, “mental health” issues can ensue. So, one of the things we can do for ourselves is look after our gut health, simple steps which include eliminating food stuff that inhibit gut health and introduce things that improve gut health, help. But why are not great food choices being made in the first place? is it a lack of knowledge? Is it caving in to cravings? Is it as simple as not listening to our body? What are worried about that makes your stomach churn? What food and drink stuffs do you consume to self-medicate?
Exercise is another. Endorphins are released from the hypothalamus and pituitary glands and are another feel good hormone bringing relief to physical and emotional pains. Laughter, sex, music and mediation are others ways to release hormones… so take your pick! So why aren’t we doing more of these, considering some are really fun and really easy?
Sleep is essential, without it our brains and subsequently, the rest of us can become wonky and a bit off balance, why? Because our cerebellum, the part of our brain primarily responsible to modulating our movements, physically as well as emotionally and mentally, isn’t able to function as well as it should. Dendritic growth can get out of hand because the mechanism that helps manage these requires uninterrupted sleep. What keeps you up at night? Worry? What have you eaten or drunk? Poor sleep hygiene habits? Succession planning? The season ahead?
Can you see why I have a bit of bug bear when it comes to the term “mental health”? We humans are complex creatures, and we are all individuals. We have to look at the whole and we need to enlist others to help us. Much like you would with your business.
So, what makes me an expert? Well, firstly, I wouldn’t say I am. But after 50 turns around the sun, I think I have learnt and experienced a lot that I would like to share with others because when I do, people seem to want to learn more.
My childhood was spent on our family farm, I tried hard at school because I got rewarded emotionally for doing well. My high school years were spent in Perth and then the expectation was to move onto university where I completed by Agricultural Science degree with honours. I then I moved back out into the big wide world working in a quite a number of different roles including agronomy, grain marketing, planning and banking always trying my best but never feeling like I belonged. I came home to what was left of my family farm in 2007 with my husband and we are still here. It’s a small place but it provides enough stress to make us feel alive!
The turning point for all of what I do now happened in 2014. Decades of trying to live up to others’ expectations and feeling like a was constantly failing combined with being a new mum whose daughter didn’t nap and didn’t sleep particularly well was the tipping point. I cried every day, many times, trying to figure out why couldn’t I get this right. My nights were often me finding ways to prevent a full blown panic attack, I would force myself to go to sleep even though I couldn’t breathe properly because I believed that if I stayed awake I would die and since my husband worked away, I concluded there would be no one there to look after our daughter if I did die. This still brings tears to my eyes as I think of how desperate I was and when I talk to others about panic attacks, particularly children, the relief I see in their faces when someone actually understands them is palpable. It might seem ridiculous, but you really do feel like you are going to die and until you experience it, you can’t come close to understanding it.
I eventually took myself off to the local GP who prescribed anti-depressants. That’s it, no mental health plan, no discussion other than pointing out that most of the town were on them. I am sure this was said to make me feel better but looking back now, it was perhaps the motivator for me to do something about it. I didn’t take the pills (note: I am not anti pills but I believe there are many things that can be done in conjunction with them rather than relying entirely on them); I instead wanted to know why I felt like I did and that’s when I found Kinesiology and another way of approaching my wellbeing and my life.
I will be forever grateful for the first 4 decades of my life because it got me to the point where I absolutely had to do something differently which I have now done for the past decade. I am a knowledge gatherer - I read, I learn, I listen, I apply. So, everything I write about and share with you I have either experienced firsthand or have observed in those who I have had the privilege to work with in my Kinesiology clinic. If I find out something interesting, I will share it, there is so much we can do for ourselves and the more we do for ourselves the more we do for others by default.
When I started this journey of Kinesiology, I always said that rural people deserved the best, as much as those in the cities. I was told that “country people wouldn’t understand it”… nothing motivates me more than ignorance! This is what I have aspired to do, bringing not only the modality of Kinesiology but also the speciality of Brain Integration which I sought the qualifications of. Going forward I continue my love for learning as I am now undertaking my Bachelor of Health Science. All the while continuing to read and absorb as much as I can.
What I want to bring and share with you is helpful information and tools that are easy to implement. I want to provide the space to ask the challenging questions and to answer what I can. To share with you my experiences and help you become more self-aware and create the life you want. I hope you join me on this journey of stepping outside of my comfort zone, this journey of courage.
Take what you want from want. I will share and if you aren’t ready for it now, know that I will be here for when you are. If you know someone who might benefit from what I have to offer, send them a link, share my page. The more I can be out there, the greater my reach and the more I can help.
-Attune. Evolve. Illume
Dolly's Dream
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On the 23rd of May 2021 I was asked to share my thoughts on mental health with a group of 100 attendees at the Dolly's Dream Fundraiser event at Jeanne D'Moore in Moora, Western Australia.
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Below is the talk I gave on the day.
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This is a talk I gave to the guests of a Fundraising Event for Dolly’s Dream on the 23rd of May 2021 at Jeanne D’Moore, Moora, Western Australia.
Please note that these are my personal thoughts and experiences. If you feel that this information raises issues around mental health for you or your loved one’s please seek professional help, there are plenty of us out there and we are here to assist.
In Love and Light
Liz Easton – attune body mind soul
As you might already know Dolly’s Dream was created by Tick and Kate Everett following the death of their 14-year-old daughter, Dolly, to suicide, after ongoing bullying. Tick and Kate’s goal is to change cultures and behaviours to prevent bullying, by increasing understanding of the impact of bullying, anxiety, depression, and youth suicide and by providing support to parents.
Our family has supported Dolly’s Dream since its inception. So, when Marie asked me to come and talk with you today, I jumped at the chance. Not only because of this connection but also the opportunity to share with you all that I have learnt from my own personal experiences and the knowledge and experiences I have gained through my work as a Kinesiologist.
So, I am the local Kinesiologist. For those who don’t know what that is, essentially, I help people address their stress, stress that can present in their body in all ways whether it be physical pain, emotional and mental stress, learning and behavioural issues and so on.
And it is because of my own stress that I ended up becoming a Kinesiologist. I suffered anxiety for years and it got progressively worse after I had our daughter. I was in a constant state of stress, with fatigue and constriction around my throat and chest areas being some of the worst symptoms. At night I would have to will myself to sleep because it felt like my throat would close over and I wouldn't be able to breathe...I bordered on having a panic attack most nights.
The solution according to my well-meaning doctor was anti-depressants. Now, I am not against medication and these certainly have a place, but I also knew it wasn't going to address the real problem...only the symptoms if I was lucky. I also knew if the cause wasn't addressed it could mean a lifetime of medication. That's when I rediscovered Kinesiology and decided to study it because I knew how effective it was.
Fortunately, the conversation and dialogue around the subject of mental health such as anxiety and depression is increasing and there is plenty of research to show that this is not something that is made up or can be dismissed anymore.
But my question is how did we get here?
- How is it that 9 of us Australians choose to end the suffering every day through suicide?
- How is it that the suicide rate is double in regional areas?
- Why are our children suffering, why do they believe in the cruel words and actions of another?
How did we as a society who is so wealthy (we are in the top 5%), one of the most educated, most supported, democratic nations in the world, the land of opportunity…. How did we get to this point?
We worry about a lot of things – the big issues of having a job, a roof over our head, food on the table, clothes on our backs but if you get the opportunity to listen to people, something I have the privilege to do in my work, we also worry about a lot of other things, often things we are not conscious of such as our self-worth, value, appreciation, status, achievement, acceptance.
Did you know that 83% of people by their 40’s has had, or are currently experiencing a mental health issue? That’s 8 in 10 people. And just to clarify, the researcher who pulled this data together made it very clear that of the remaining 17% there was insufficient data to assess whether they just had later onset. In children they believe it to be 1 in 7.
People aren’t born bullies and aren’t born to be bullied. Anxiety and depression are not a choice.
So, what is mental health defined as? And why is telling people it’s all in their head and to let it go and to get over it not helpful?
I will often define stress as thinking we don’t have a choice, that we may feel like we are backed into a corner. If you are experiencing a mental health issue how you feel, think, behave, and interact with other people is affected. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you lock yourself away, sleep all day, are heavily medicated. It can be withdrawing from social interaction, drinking more alcohol, OCD, emotional outbursts, emotional withdrawal and a becoming apathetic about things. For each of us mental health will look different which can make it hard to see, both for the person experiencing it and for those around them. For me personally, I was completely unaware of how deep a hole I was in until I was out of it and because I was such an independent, strong willed and at times prickly individual it made it very hard for those around me to help.
You may have heard or in fact said yourself at some time “it’s all in your head” implying that all you have to do is not think about it. Well apart from being a very unhelpful implication in some respects, it is true. When we are experiencing these states of stress, anxiety and depression we are experiencing actual chemical and physiological changes in our body and they are complex.
You may be familiar with the flight and flight response. Simply put, when information enters our brain through our senses i.e., sight, sound, touch, tastes and smell is usually sent off to the thalamus where it gets directed off to other regions of the brain for processing. If, however, that information is perceived as a threat it goes straight to the amygdala where we decide whether it is a life of death situation. From the amygdala it is a very short process to the hypothalamus, the gland that directs all physiological responses within the body. If it is a genuine threat, then our hypothalamus prepares our body to respond, the blood gets redirected away from our thinking parts of our brain and sent off to the muscles and organs that are going to keep us alive – muscles to run, lungs to breathe, sweat glands to cool us.
So, when we are faced with a stressful situation, even socially or emotionally, we can lose our breath because we are taking shorter, quicker breaths of air in, we might shake because our muscles are getting loaded up with adrenalin ready to fight or run, we may sweat and our brain executive function declines – we forget things, we lose our words, we make poor choices. Fortunately for most of us we survive these episodes but for some people it is where it can become overwhelming and consequences dire.
So, our brain is a very clever and amazing organ. It keeps us functioning, it helps us make decisions, it stores away memories, it helps us to communicate and very importantly it keeps us safe. How does it do this? Our mind is made up of the conscious and subconscious. And it is not unlike an iceberg - the conscious mind is like the 15% above the water and the subconscious is the remaining 85% below the waterline. Essentially the conscious mind is where we think we are operating from – it is our awareness, it is where process, make decisions and make conclusions. However, the information to enable this is largely taken from the subconscious region of our mind. It is from the subconscious that our body’s function, its where we pump our blood, breathe, move but it is also where the information, the memories, the social and cultural conditioning, the expectations all reside. So, when we are undertaking a task in our conscious mind even a relatively simple interaction such as coming to an event like this, all these factors come into play without us being aware that this is happening. It is almost like we are running a screening programme with everything we do.
Let’s take the example of the guilt emotion (most people, particularly women, are good with that one!). It is programmed in us in a social context before we are capable of rational thought and hence it becomes one of our basic survival programs. When you do something considered outside of the norms of your social group, you are told or made to feel that you are bad in some way or have done something wrong. Children learn from a young age that when they are bad, they are not liked, and love is often withheld. So, children quickly learn to realise that when they do something “bad”, that is outside the social norms, they feel bad. This is the essence of the guilt program…. Sound familiar? Unspoken disapproval can be just as powerful at triggering this survival programme. Gestures, tones, and the energy given out can often have far more meaning that actual words. The power of these signals is that these activate and trigger strong emotions that are linked to similar, negative emotional experiences that have occurred in the past. When this happens, the person is now reacting, not only to the current situation but also to the past experience so much so that the past becomes the now and the past dominates their current state.
To the brain, what it remembers is no different to what is actually happening in real time. A memory that you are experiencing currently, is to your brain, your currently reality. A situation that you are thinking about, even one that
may not occur, can also have the same emotional charge. Your brain responds to real, remembered and imagined impulses in the same way…. as though they are happening right now.
As we grow up and become adults, we learn what is acceptable or not, what rules to play by, the social and cultural norms. So, why is this so detrimental to us? It is because we learn to modulate our emotions, hold them in, store them away, stuff them down, numb them, hold on to them until we erupt and throw an adult tantrum…. and what do you think that does? It contributes to that statistic of 83%, leading to feelings of isolation, anxiety and depression.
A personal bug bare of mine is the strive and reinforcement of resilience in young children – often what others see as resilience; I see as suppression. Children learn to not cry, not express their emotions, put up with behaviours that shouldn’t have to. It is where we have a golden opportunity to teach our children about emotions and why they may feel they way that they do…. but then again maybe that’s because we as adults have learnt to suppress and not understand what we are feeling and why, so how we are able to mentor and support them.
So, what can we do? How can we help others, help our kids, help our grandkids, help our community?
We have to start with ourselves! I have to start with me! You have to start with you!
And if you think that you are okay, nothing wrong with me, I don’t get stressed - medical research estimates as much as 90 percent of illness and disease is stress-related that includes physical pain, gut issues, skin conditions, hormonal issues, sleep and fatigue the list goes on.
So, if you don’t have any physical symptoms, sleep and eat well, have fantastic relationships and are essentially living the life of your dreams then yes, you probably don’t suffer from stress…. But if we are truly honest with ourselves then that isn’t many of us, if any.
So, let’s have an honest look at ourselves because until we acknowledge something then we can’t actually do anything about it. And if we are genuine about helping our kids, we need to be start with ourselves. It doesn’t mean we are broken; it doesn’t mean we have failed. Courage isn’t sucking it up and hiding our true self to the world, real courage is being our own authentic self, growing, learning and adapting.
It is when we come from a place of genuine compassion, care and love we can truly help others and to be genuine, we need to love, care and be compassionate with ourselves. And by doing this we not only do we do this for ourselves, but we also give permission to others to follow suit, by leading by example, to your friends, your family and your children.
So, what are some steps we can take or things we can do for ourselves?
1) Be mindful of our own head chatter, what we say to ourselves, how we interact with ourselves. Are we compassionate, thoughtful, kind in what we say to ourselves? Did you know that our subconscious believes everything we say to ourselves, regardless of how it is delivered? So, if you tell yourself, you are stupid then it believes that, regardless of if you are trying to be funny about it. So, change your internal language, this takes practice, but it can get better and the better you get at it, the better you get at externalizing it, you catch people doing the same and you help them turn it around.
2) Take time out for yourself for some self-care whatever that is for you and don’t make it a chore. Read a book, get a massage, go to yoga, do some gardening, catch up with a friend, see your Kinesiologist. Just make sure you have some sort of relaxation or reward for yourself that you enjoy. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
3) Be aware, and make changes if necessary, of environmental factors that may be affecting you. Alcohol is a depressive, sugar can have the same effect. 85% of our serotonin, one of our happy neurotransmitters is made in the gut so if we are experiencing gut issues or we don’t have good nutrition then that can affect how we feel.
4) Surround yourself with support – friends and family who are on your side, think about the kind of people you want in your life, the work you want to do, the activities you want to be involved in, the knowledge that you seek. Turn off the news, if someone is gossiping or being negative, find something else to talk about or something else to do.
5) Don’t compare and don’t judge, ourselves and others. I often use the analogy of a “bucket of stress” – we all have one and we usually don’t know how full it is, let alone someone else’s. We don’t know other peoples’ stories and we often don’t understand the impact of our own on our health and wellbeing.
6) Expectations is one of the biggest relationship problems we have. The expectation that those around us know and deliver upon what we expect, usually without them actually knowing what is expected from them. We all have different values and priorities. Respect that and accept that it’s not because someone won’t meet your expectations, it is probably, because they can’t.
7) Set and keep clear boundaries. Physically, emotionally, mentally and energetically. Too often pain and hurt comes from us not maintaining boundaries with people in our lives. Decide where your line in the sand is, stand by it and others will learn that they need to respect it.
8) Trust yourself and trust your intuition. One of my most common themes for my clients is to get them out of their heads and into their hearts. We have been conditioned to value thoughts over feelings, thinking things through, making decisions based on pros and cons. Each and every one of us was born with an innate system within us to keep up safe and well, our intuition. So, if something doesn’t feel right, if your kids don’t feel okay in a situation or around certain people, then trust that, don’t force it, talk about it with your kids and grandkids. It doesn’t mean we have assumed that there is something bad and evil, it just might not be right for us or them.
9) Seek assistance if you feel you need to and don’t be ashamed. Remember what I said about courage! There are plenty of health professionals out there including people like myself. Try them and find what works for you.
I could literally talk about this subject for hours, we are complex creatures but, in many ways, simple in our needs – most of us just want to feel loved and appreciated. So, the more you can feel love and appreciation for yourself the more it becomes natural for you to love and appreciate what and who is around you. This then leaves little room for those emotions and experiences that lead to issues such as anxiety and depression. Yes, you are going to come across those in our world who feel so insecure within themselves that they have to belittle, victimize, bully and exclude but when you exude true self confidence through love and appreciation their impact is non-existent.
Thankyou for coming today, thankyou for Marie and Tina and their many helpers for pulling this together. It is truly a worthy cause and may Dolly’s passing be a positive learning for all of us for ourselves, our kids and all future generations.
I am a big believer in what you give is what you get, so be mindful of what you are giving out…. remember to be kind.